July 2007

Acting suspiciously


As she walked down the ramp into the back of the car show room, she could see 3 sleazy looking guys arguing. One guy was particularly hot under the collar. They all turned to look at her.
Can I take a photo of the crates in your laneway, she piped, trying to sound like it was a completely normal request.
Sure, said balding ponytail.
The surprised look on their faces was difficult to interpret.
What do you want to do that for?,demanded hot head tersely.
I take photos of the street.
Why don’t you take a photo of him?, said balding ponytail and pointed to the third guy who looked the least threatening of all.
No thanks, I just want a picture of the crates, she replied.
You can take them away for all I care, barked hot head.
Thanks, but I just want a photo.
Hot head persisted:What do you want to do that for?
I’m an artist, she said. I photograph the city.
Well go and ask next door. The crates belong to them, snapped hot head.
Look, she responded in an exasperated tone. I don’t need your permission. I was just asking to be polite.

At that point third guy said: Sure, take as many pictures as you like.

Two minutes later, she heard a voice say:
Can I help you? Sure you don’t want to take our photo? Third guy was coming towards her up the ramp.
No thanks, I’ve finished now, she replied, the light was wrong and she decided it was time to leave.
Trying to keep things friendly she offered, I don’t take photos of people.

When she got to the corner of the street she could see the front of the building. It was a boy racer’s dream full of European sports cars, and in the window was an estate agent – FOR LEASE. West Melbourne

But this can happen when you don’t ask.

The Palace and the Palais


“This tram will terminate in Fitzroy Street. There is a fire at the Palais Theatre”
A collective grown filled the tram, not for the inconvenience, but at the prospect of another landmark being razed from the St Kilda landscape.
“Just maybe, it is the Palace”, somebody whispered hopefully to themselves. “Everybody confuses those two buildings”. More pics on ilovestkilda.

Bright eyed and bushy tailed


“When I start work at 6am, the city is totally deserted, just us tradies heading off to the building sites. On Saturday morning it’s a bit different though. There are all these ravers staggering around off their heads and dressed in weird gear. Eyes hanging out of the their heads.

I wouldn’t have a clue where they’ve been. I just drink at the pub.
It must be somewhere around Little Collins and Elizabeth, though. When they see me they go ‘haa haa, you’re going to go to work’.”

Gleaner and the cleaner #4


View from a carpark

“Isn’t it a bit cold out there” she shouted as they bounced down the side of the building. She couldn’t help wondering if they ever got that “pit of the stomach feeling” everybody else gets they drop too quickly in a lift.
“Nah” he replied “we just keep working, any weather. It’s the only way to keep warm. If it’s windy and we’re being smashed against the building, then we stop. That’s just commonsense”.